Monday, June 23, 2014

IMPORTANT WEEKEND THINGS

Important things were done this weekend.

Important things like realizing I was heavily channeling a Magic Kingdom transportation employee.


Important things like realizing my dog has a serious school boy crush on me as of late. And sometimes I abuse his trust because I am bad. 


 Important things like hanging with our beloved Simpsons and checking out the zoo and the best grilled scallops in Jacksonville.
 


And of course, super important things like finding Jared's first gray beard hair, having migraines :(, and watching the USA tie in their Portugal game yesterday! Ugh sorry for the gratuitous neck beard shot. He has shaved.




Monday, June 16, 2014

THE LIFE OF THE HIGH STRUNG WOMAN

Am I asking too many questions?
Am I forgetting a question?
Why must I crave goat cheese at all hours?
Will we ever stick to our budget?
How much does a normal couple spend on groceries?
Do we really need to buy jugs of water?
Am I drinking enough water?
Why didn't they ask me first?
Ugh, why did they even ask me?
Have I done any good in the world today?
I wonder if I can eat popcorn yet?
I wonder if I put on too much powder today? Does my face look chalky?
I wonder what Jared is doing?
I wonder what Gilligan is doing?
Do I play with my dog enough?
Do I tell my husband I love him enough?
Do I tell him to often?
Is that even a thing?
Gosh I'm starving. Should I hold out til lunch?
CAN I hold out til lunch?
FOOD.


Roughly 3 minutes inside my head.


Tuesday, June 10, 2014

THE TREE

I have become obsessed with this tree in my yard.

The tree looks like a Dr Seuss character. It's covered in pink wisps. At night something magical happens and it lets out a heady, intoxicating fragrance like big ripe peaches.

I make a pilgrimage to the tree every night, sometimes twice. I walk around and wobble my head, sniffing all the while, trying to find the best spot in the yard. Sometimes it's 5 feet away, sometimes it's right next to a blossom. And I inhale again and again, greedily sniffing it all up.

It bothers Gilligan to the extreme. Why are you sniffing that tree instead of watching me urinate?

I also make visitor to the apartment come and sniff the tree. "You gotta smell this tree," I'll say. And they do. And they love it too.

I've been reading Jacob 5 over the last week or so. Its a parable about a the gardener caring for a tame tree that used to give great olives but in its old age has become sickly and pooped. He saves the tree by grafting in peices of wild olive branch. The new pieces are wild, the olives were probably bitter and everyone probably thought he was a little nuts. But it works!  This crazy wild olive tree saves the tame tree. More then that, they combine perfectly to become a new tree-- a healthy tree with delicious olives. Now I know what this parable means about the scattering of Israel, but I've been thinking in a different way lately.

I have been thinking a lot about wild trees. Tree's that smell like peaches and have pink fuzz all over them.

Sometimes, we get so set in our ways. The right ways. We put our blinders on and do our thing. Often this leads to personal decay and unhappiness. Especially if we are attempting to get different results and change and prosper--all by doing the same old thing.

So I invite you to look at your own tree. Your family or body or schooling or fitness or whatever you decide that tree is, and then look around. Go out into your yard and wobble your head and sniff out a pink perfume tree. And see what you do with it. See how it may change you for the better.

Sunday, June 1, 2014

TOP 10 THINGS TO DO WITH YOUR EXTRACTED WISDOM TEETH

  1. Talismans
  2. Grind and sell as faux rhino horn.
  3. Earrings
  4. Plant to grow beanstalk/portal to another realm.
  5. Dark arts
  6. Clone material
  7. Soothsaying
  8. Yahtzee dice
  9. Save for "extras" 
  10. Shadowbox for edgy home decor.

On the way home from surgery I cycled through hysterical laughter and sobs, because of course I did. I was also visited by Louis Armstrong.