38 WEEKS: WAITING

Today I cried watching a video of a cockatiel whistle along to its owner playing the Totoro theme on piano. This led me down the path of watching many cockatiels serenade babies, adults, stuffed animals and all other sorts with their renditions of the Andy Griffith theme song or whatever. And every time I just chuckle and cry and shake my head at what a weird weird time in your life pregnancy is.

The baby feels not quite done yet. Or maybe I'm not quite ready for it to be done? This pregnancy has been a huge blessing in my life. I've been well, my body has been strong, and I really do feel like I was made for this. Its flown by, and most of the time it's been a breeze.

That said, I was placed on modified bed rest last week and sent to work from home until Hurricane Alexander makes his or her debut. There have been many jugs filled with pee and I am using my borrowed blood pressure cuff on the daily. Everything is good so far, but I still have to take precautions. That's the hardest part, the waiting. You get good news, but then you wait some more. You wait for your blood pressure to go up or down, or your protein count to change, or maybe even your water to break and a baby to come and solve all the problems on its own. And maybe there isn't really any problem at all, and really there probably isn't, but you gotta take the precautions because like: a baby! So you take your blood pressure again, and resist the urge to clean the whole house like a living freight train because of bed rest or whatever.

So for now I will do my work, and watch my cockatiel videos, and feel content with waiting.

YEAR THREE

Three years with the guy that still makes me smile a big panda bear smile. I don't think I ever shared many of our engagement pictures because I wasn't blogging very frequently then, but I sure do cherish them.

Jared and I met at babyhood, again at age 18, again at age 21, and then again at age 22. Babyhood is just cute, age 18 is when we fell into a best friendship, and age 21 is when we fell in love. Age 22 is when we went and got married. We're 25 now and there's a baby growing in my belly. A third Alexander for our third year.

Jared, I have loved you in biology class with big curly hair, in my grandmothers house watching late night TV, in a hundred letters over a long two years, in fights and make-ups, in a tiny 500 square foot apartment, in Germany, Great Britain, France and Norway, in depression and in blissful happiness. And I'm gonna keep loving you. Happy anniversary!

A PICTURE SAYS

I struggled to decide if I would take maternity pictures. We've all wiped away tears laughing at horrible pregnancy pics on the internet. I knew myself well enough to realize I wasn't about to hold any heart hands over my navel, or immortalize Jared smooching my bare belly, but for some reason I couldn't put the idea of documenting this time in our lives to rest.

Amanda Lenhardt was there for our engagement and wedding, and it seems fitting that shoot number 3 celebrates Jared and I's third year of marriage as well as upping the JKAlexander headcount to 3.It also explains the number of chin's I currently have ;)

I've felt safe, sure, peaceful, loved, and cared for for most of this pregnancy. I've also felt anxiety, fear, and self-doubt. I 'm trying to focus on those good feelings right now, zero in on the peace and let everything else just flow over me. I feel warmth and love when I look at these pictures, which is something I hope I never forget.

Pretty dreamy right?

Part of me will miss this little family

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35 WEEKS: REAL TALK

By nature, I am a gossip, a drama queen and a know-it-all, although I wouldn't necessarily label myself a complainer. That said, I feel like 34 weeks was when my eyes were truly opened to pregnancy and how weird and uncomfortable it can really be.

Even now, I feel good! I feel healthy and well and I can sleep through the night. My heart goes out to ladies who struggle through all 40 weeks of this epic journey.

But seriously. I have gained 40 lbs. I feel a deep achey tiredness in my body most of the time. If I take a nap during the day, I can't fall asleep at night, but if I allow myself I can clock in like 12 hrs of hard sleep. I feel moody and crave sugar like no ones business. Thus the 40 lbs. Tums are my best friend and constant companion. I think my dog could use my giant bra as a hammock if he was smart enough to rig it up. I have been told to by my midwife to drink around 110 oz of water a day, so if you need me - I'm in the bathroom. In fact today I am on strict orders to save every drop of urine in a big orange jug for testing purposes.

I taught singing time in Primary last Sunday. My mother-in-law gave me a fantastic game idea; A child sits in a desk chair and I spin them, their legs point to papers on the ground which chooses the next song. It was a serious hit - try it sometime- and by the end I was sweating like a pig. A big pregnant pig. Things like this continue to surprise me. Walking the dog to the park and playing fetch, taking the stairs, struggling to keep up with the group as we mosey through somewhere. I've never been an athlete but geeze I am worn out!

There is a baby butt squarely pressing against my ribs most of the day. I do not feel all that attractive. If you see a sliver of my belly showing below my shirt, please forgive me I just simply can't be bothered anymore.

All that said- 5 weeks to go! I can do this! I can even enjoy this. See you soon, Baby Bird!