WHAT DID YOU EXPECT?

So we're having a baby. That's the money. That's the meat. You are free to now leave the post feeling like you got the bulk of the information.



We took this picture in Oslo when I was very not pregnant because have you ever seen a more perfect statue in your life??

So Jared and I had been talking in earnest about this whole baby ordeal for about 9 months before the trigger was actually pulled. I myself had been entertaining the idea, afraid to admit it to myself, for over a year. I barely breathed a word of it to anyone. In fact, at one point Jared gave me a blessing of comfort that I wouldn't let the "should we or shouldn't we" thoughts give me so much anxiety. It worked, and what a blessing.

For most of my life I've had to wait for things. Not forever, but a while. When I was younger it bothered me beyond belief. I couldn't stand it. But as I've grown up and looked back and gotten the things I had waited on, I realized that the victory was so much sweeter for the wait.

All this is to say, I was quite bewildered when I kept having the feeling that when we started trying for a baby, things would move really fast, and I wanted to be ready.

We set a few deadlines for ourselves and breezed by them all. May came and it was kind of like what are we really waiting for? Jared was supportive and confident that we needed to knock off the lollygagging. What I didn't know is that by saying "OK, lets go", I was also giving a weird signal to my brain that said my thought patterns should change from normally scheduled programming to this:

BABYBABYBABYBABYBABYBABYBABYNAMESBABYBOTTLESBIRTHBABYBOYBABYGIRLBABYCLASSBABYCENTERBABYBABYBABYBABYBABYBABYBABYBABYBABYBABY

A week later I got a killer migraine at work and I knew. That was my sign. I had just made an appointment to get my wisdom teeth out and I commenced to fret endlessly that my poor zygote would be hindered by the anesthesia and ibuprofen, so I took a couple first response tests when the time came-- all negative. Then I had numerous dreams of a fat curly headed baby.

I knew. I tried to play it cool, Jared knew too. He was singing little ditties about the baby from day one. I cautioned him to not jinx us. What if I was wrong? But the time for my period came and went, and so did one more negative test.

And then June 9. On June 9 I bought a test and a box of ice cream bars - either way, just in case. On June 9 I got a shard of bone removed from my gums. On June 9 I got locked out of the house and dropped my laptop on the street. On June 9 I peed on that stick and when two little lines popped up I started sobbing. I didn't fully understand how much I wanted it until I saw those lines. It had been a long hard day and who doesn't love a little victory. And this seemed like a great big victory.

Little baby, you are so wanted. Jared and I are so happy. See you in February!

MIXTAPE TUESDAY

A long overdue Mixtape Tuesday. Hugo Hans.

In other music news, the hits keep coming to our neck of the woods. A few days ago Jared and I bought tickets to see the amazing Kishi Bashi play here in Jacksonville, and later this year Tennis! My beloved Tennis! We will have to make our way down to Orlando (on a school night yuck!) for that one, but I take solace in the fact that the venue has an old school photobooth.

BEST TUBING IN FLORIDA: ITCHETUCKNEE 101

Itchetucknee Springs. If you live in North Florida, you should make it a priority this summer to take a tubing trip down to the river and spend 3 hours or so floating. Disclaimer: while I have never been to Ginny Springs, I hear one complaint over and over: it's dirty. Itchetucknee is indeed not dirty! It is quite idealistic. Someone in our party of 12 actually said 'I feel like I'm in a theme park." The water is clear, 72 degrees and moves along at a lazy pace, dotted with turtles, and you'll only spend about 10 bucks a person (young kids are free). So here's what you need to know:

• Grab some cash. You're gonna need a tube and its quicker and easier to have a 20 on hand.
• Get there early. 8 am early. If you live in Jax this means leaving around 6 am. They only let a certain number of people in per day. Plus, getting there early means you'll most likely miss the annual afternoon thunderstorm.
•  While you're at it, stop at the Donut Shoppe in Arlington on your way out of town. They open at 5 and got you covered, you'll be prepared for their cash only policy because you already hit the ATM, right? 
• Sunscreen up before you leave the house and right before you go into the water. Trust me. Wear a rash guard if you have one to help protect you from the sun. 
• Rent a big tube, don't trouble yourself with a raft. You'll see tube rental stations dotting the roadside on your way to the spring, they're all about $5 for a single and $10 for a double tube. I saw quite a few poor desperate tweens in rafts with little paddles trying to get out of the weeds and while hilarious, it was very pathetic. Tubes give you mobility and make it easier to jump off the side and swim when you get too hot. 
• Bring your kids if they're up for it. You can always test out doing a half float which takes about 45 minutes or just swimming in the spring. Just remember that the water is cold and there are no exits!
• Meet up with any stragglers BEFORE you even get close to the park. There is 0 cell service for miles around the park, and you will never ever find them if they didn't caravan up with you. 
• Do the full 3 hour float. After such a long meandering drive, do yourself a favor and do the entire float. You'll have much more fun and get to enjoy the deserted front portion of the spring. 
• Bring bungees to tie your parties tubes together and avoid spreading out over a mile or so. Sure, you'll always catch up to one another but there is ALWAYS a slow poke who gets sucked into the weeds on the side of the river. Always. 
• Come with a caravan. I always have more fun when there are at least 10 of us spread up and down the river. 
• Wear water shoes. Most of the first half of the river is full of long water grass. Sometimes this grass is so long and thick that its poking its little head out of the water. It's not particularly yucky or anything, but it can be a bit slimy. You've also got submerged logs, slick rocks and other things that I personally do not enjoy touching with my bare feet. 
• Bring a GoPro or waterproof camera, but leave your jewelry and keys back at the car. 
• Keep your eyes open but don't be afraid! I have never seen anything more dangerous then an otter on the river, but of course there are snakes and maybe even a rouge alligator or two. On a packed day, there are over 800 people floating down the river and those critters make themselves scare, believe me. Jump off your tube! Swim alongside in the clear water and cool off! 

This makes me want to plan another trip! Who's in?

ENJOY A LONG WEEKEND

Life is cyclical. I am enjoying lots of things lately I loved as a child, but didn't quite love as a teenager. 

Crescent Beach, St Augustine, where you can drive your truck down the coast for 6 bucks and set up a tent on the wide, white expanse of shoreline. Floating in the waves with your family. Long afternoon naps while it thunderstorms. Fourth of July fireworks. Good books. The Sandlot. 3 day weekends that feel like a real vacation.

On a side note, never give Jared free reign of the 5 dollar movie bin unless you are willing to sift through all 12 layers of film. 

FOR THE LOVE OF BEING IN LOVE

Heaven only knows the fire-starter of a post I could be writing but I can not keep my mouth shut.

A lot has been said about the sanctity of marriage, the purity of love and who deserves what and so forth. But can we step back for a minute? Can we look with new eyes what is all around us? On our TVs, computers, phones, etc?

This morning I read an article about a new show called Married At First Sight, where a person consents to being scientifically matched with someone they've never met before and marrying them. WHAT?! This is possibly the most horrendous premise for a show I've ever seen, taking our voyeurism and freakish obsession with true love and even truer misery to the next level.

But then when I think about it, what about The Bachelor and The Bachelorette? What about Tinder? Ugh. What about 13 yr old me being psyched to watch Elimidate after school on the WB.

And then I think of the centuries spent - in cultures across the world - where marriage was never about love or even mutual respect. It has been a bargaining tool, an olive branch, a transaction, etc. We are living in a golden age of LOVE....and people want to throw that away. Orwell is rolling over in his grave. Gatacca is at our door.

What about report after report of people not really dating anymore? Of going on a blind date, free of a complete Google history.

There are many many things in the world bettered by technology. People meet their companions through Match.com and that is great! That is fantastic! But the world is headed for a place where those things aren't enough.

Insert a long sigh here. I don't have a lot more to say on this subject besides the fact that I love my family. I love my marriage, and being married has been a true privilege. It is a prized possession of mine. Can we all remember that? I think if we start treating it that way, special and sacred, that all of us - straight, gay, scientifically matched and arranged in a freak blind marriage- will benefit.

And that is that.

(thanks Danielle)

LESSONS FROM ADVENTURES IN BABYSITTING

I need an extremely flippy mid length perm and to work on my execution of sculpting blush.

However I am probably more of a Brenda then a Chris.

Oh my gosh, but what if I am actually a Daryl!

Whoever I may be, I definetly ended up with my very own ocean-eyed mystery babe.