THINGS I LOVE: R23

So after a post saying my heart hasn't been in this blog, here is a post on lipstick. If you know me at all, then you know my heart is positively COVERED in lipstick. And mascara. And occasionally winged liner. Lets be honest, my heart probably looks like Tammy-Fay, at least I hope it does.

Ox-blood was the thing this fall. I have one dark ox-blood silk shirt I thrifted a few months ago, but I flip-flop between loving it and feeling like Prince. Then there was this lipstick. I have worn its everyday since buying it. Gratuitous picture of myself to illustrate magic lipstick:

It's Sephora Rouge Cream Lipstick in R23: Crush. And I love it. Buyer beware, it is soooo dark in the tube and soooo vibrant on the kisser. You MUST wear lip liner and you MUST be valiant and true of heart, or it WILL come out grannie purple and you will freak out and run and hide yourself. Fret not, go and be awesome.Your teeth will look super white, trust.

THINGS WE WANT

Today I have to much free time and a lot on my mind, so I've got it in my head that I am going to WRITE.

That's why I like blogging. The words. I like when I read something and I think "Oh, I know that girl. She is me." The pretty pictures make me swoon and the clothes and crafts are inspirational. Comparison in the thief of joy somebody said sometime and boy, is it true. But the words are what tie me to blogging. If you ever want to have a laugh, go and dig up my old livejournal. Yeesh. I have been lackluster about my blog lately and I think its because there's just not enough heart here. I am a write. I am a word rambler. I am a story teller. In the new year I would like to change this, and put some real thought into making this blog what I want it to be: A record of me. A depiction of my life and what I'm going through that I can look back on, and hopefully one that others can commiserate with and say "Yes, I know that girl. She is me."

Anyway, this morning I'm thinking about the shame and the inner struggle that comes with WANT. I have been thinking a lot about Pres. Uchdorfs talk, The Good and Grateful Reciever.I often feel overwhelmed when I am gifted things. I do not feel worthy to receive them. My biggest fear is selfishness and self-absorption. What will people think if I make it known that I actually desire this or that? This battle has affected many parts of my life. Should I wear this outfit? What if people think I'm being flashy? Can I wear red lipstick? That's so much attention to my face. Can I tell this boy how I feel? What if it all turns out terribly? Can I write a blog? How vain!

Luckily, I usually push through in every inner struggle and I don't let the fears win out. But the struggle is still there! Confidence is hard won. As I grow older, it gets easier, but also presents a new level of crazy. Even now as I write this, I don't know if it makes sense. If I have touched the core of the issue. Hopefully you can make it out. Right now I want to be a better writer and a better memory keeper, and that scares me, but the desire and the results rule out the fear. Yes, I know this girl, this sheepish girl. She is me.

Awkward and Awesome Thursday

Awesome

• Our first married Christmas was great. We got an upright piano! And a home-made spice rack! Very excited about that one. 
• Jared's favorite gift was his light saber. 
• Le Miserable. Obsessed
• So many goodies. I am on sweets overload. 

Awkward

• I haven't been to the gym in a month. Oy vay. 
• The crazy amount of light saber pictures taken yesterday. 
• Santa brought Jared something special. 
• Barely being able to keep my eyes open through a midnight Christmas Eve service and sleeping straight through The Grinch. We've reached old fart status. 
• Also, this picture of Gilligan in a head scarf. 

• 
  

Odd Tuesday: Squeezable Bacon

The internet is my favorite. I owe it so much. I owe it my knowledge of MLA formatting, a million cat cartoons, any song at any time of any day that I would like to hear...all of it because of the interwebz. My time as a college student, when there seemed to be endless time to peruse tumblr and the bowels of its weirdness have gone to the days of yore, but I do still find a gem here or there.I'd like to dedicate Tuesdays to these little gold nuggets. Just the other day whilst Christmas shopping I stumbled upon a true gem: Squeezable Bacon.

While ol' Kev is a squeezable bit of bacon, he is not of whom I speak
(fun fact: I was scared of Kevin Bacon as a child, I thought his face looked like an evil skeleton; see also Sissy Spacek)

Squeez Bacon, bacon in a gelatinous spreadable form, seems to be German in origin. It has a shelf life of 12 years. TWELVE YEARS. I am at a loss. I mean really this shouldn't be so shocking to me, as i'm almost positive this bacon paste is exactly how they make the McRib sandwhich.  This will be a great stocking stuffer for my dear brother, Joel. 

Strangley, while I am repelled by this squeeze bacon I am still drawn to Baconaisse.

Why So Serious?

Want to have a good laugh? Draw eyebrows on the dog.

 These two love each other.

Gilly needs a haircut and it's almost Christmas!

Awkward and Awesome

Awesome

I need this sweater.

Blue orchid left in my kitchen, thanks J.

Rain.

Smell of my Christmas tree.

The Santa Clause.

Fenced in backyard for Gilligan to run and play

First day in a week I haven't woken up exhausted.

Upcoming crafts!

Awkward

Craving a McFlurry and then waiting 15 min while the lady in front of you loads up TWENTY FIVE MCDS GIFTCARDS and then the crazy lady behind the counter gives you a cup of ice cream with M&M's on top, no mixing. At least she gave me an extra little cup of mini M&M's for my trouble, and upgraded poor Danielle's treat...

Will it really ever feel like Christmas again until I have kids?

Being shamed by Joanne's employees.

Why is Vera-Ellen so freaking skinny in White Christmas?! Pictures don't do it justice.

There is only one decent Christmas movie on Netflix.

Jared barefoot running.

We didn't say lose... I might say tighten.

  I love the charm of older places. Our beautiful hardwood floors that creak in all the right places, the weird nooks and crannies that you just don't find in newer places. However I do not love the lack of storage.  Our last was positively bursting at the seams.This place is more roomy and we fit a lot better, so our house is slowly but surely becoming more organized and unpacked. I feel so much less disheveled in this apartment.We are still trying to whittle down our stuff. Not get rid of too much, but maybe think of different ways to store and use things that are important to us.

We are still in the market for a few things, another chest of drawers is one of them. I hate drawers I really do, but its impractical to hang everything, especially when your husband hoards tee shirts. I saw this trick on Pinterest and it worked like a freaking charm! You fold your things into neat little packages, and them put them in vertisally instead of stacking. I condensed three drawers into one and a half people! That is a legit pinterest trick. Heres the before and after shot. We were never able to keep our drawers looking to great, but a week after folding this way everything still looks spic and span!

While I was hard at work, this cotton headed ninny muggins drug a bra, a pair of leggings and an old hanger into a box of shoes and made a nest.

Friday Check In

Just a quick check-in. Jared and I have been moving all week and things have been hectic to say the least. We should have wi-fi by Sunday, woohoo! I love our new apartment so much! I'll be sure to give a full run down. For now, enjoy this super cute picture of Gilligan under my grandmothers Christmas tree and enjoy a few fun links for your weekend.

Christmas Music

Joanna has the best gift guides.

I'm gonna think twice before deeply inhaling the smell of old library books.

Obsessed with Caravan Shoppe. I bought the Fortunes Favor World Map.

This has been my favorite place to online Christmas shop so far.