Friday, October 24, 2014


I was lucky enough to spend 4 days working in Vegas for a conference, and to stay in a hotel that looked and smelled a lot like Kim Kardashian. Actually I really hope Kim doesn't smell like the Delano, which as soon as you walk across the threshold hits you with a blast of thick sweet perfume. It haunts me even now. But odds are that in one of her and Kanye's palatial estates there is a giant wall sized leather headboard.

I always like traveling for work, stretching my legs and getting out of the office. It's one of my favorite parts of my job.

I also love when my destination coincides with people I love. It's funny how some people just stick. I've known Kelly for 12 years. 12 years! We got to see Beatles Love together and eat a meal which consisted of copious amounts of butter in various, delicious forms. Little did I know that I really need matre d'hotel butter with every meal. Oh, and I had her eat her first gastropod and delivered her first taste of Cafe Rio sweet pork and horchata. Oh sweet pork, how I love thee. Let me count the ways. And then there I was talking to her four year old about nurser sharks and complimenting her two years olds sunglasses, and comparing due dates (1 week apart.) Life moves pretty fast, man.

Speaking of le bebe, at 24 weeks I find myself out of breath when I walk quickly or get excited talking about something. The fact that there are 12 inches and a little over a pound of kid inside of me is mind boggling. Oh! And I bought a few gender neutral onezies! And I think we even figured out Halloween costumes! Look at me! Progressing!

A few weird things I would like to remember about this trip:

- Going through security in JAX I was pulled aside for two items: canned dry shampoo and a 6 inch pair of scissors I had forgotten in my purse. How do you forget a 6 inch pair of scissors in your purse? You're Kipin Alexander and almost 6 months pregnant that is how. ANYWAY. Guess which one they let me keep? You're right! The scissors!

-It took me 10 minutes to walk from my room to the conference I was attending...and it was all housed in the same building! The joint was huge.

- I ordered room service one night and the guy who delivered it looked JUST like David Carradine. Then he dropped my macaroni all over the floor and smashed the plate to pieces. His Kung fu doppleganger would nay have been proud.

- I had to take out some money from an ATM and the only one around was in the casino. They required picture ID, confirmation of address and a blood. Just kidding. But seriously Kelly and I were in sweats and glasses and scraggly hair at 10 pm standing in the middle of a casino getting fingerprinted next to the Lone Wolf slot machines. Memories....

- The woman I sat next to on the plane home was wacked out of her mind. She kept waking suddenly and asking me if it was time to get off the plane, drinking tiny cups of coffee and insisting on taking every cream on the cart, accusing other passengers of stealing her iPhone...which she then found on the floor under her seat, watching the movie I was watching, over my shoulder with no headphones and then asking me what they were saying. The list goes on.

- And can I brag for a second? I missed my weekly birth class - and Jared braved it alone! 2.5 hours of Bradley all by his lonesome. It takes a good man.

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