39 WEEKS OF WEIRD

Forgive me an iPhone selfie.

Ok ok so before I get into this, no I am not begging for mercy at the seat of the pregnant fates yet. I hope this doesn't indicate that I am will be pregnant for forever aka 42 weeks, but only the child knows right? These things are just too hilarious/horrible not to put out into the universe. My body and the universe are totally conspiring against me. At week 39 I have:

- Outgrown all but  3 shirts that I own. I will THINK something fits, when all of a sudden I get a glimpse of myself in a mirror at a restaurant and it just.....it just doesn't fit :(

- Chipped my second tooth of this pregnancy!! Yes my friends, an ill fated piece of grilled chicken took the corner off of my back molar. -___-

- Been topless, in paper nail salon flip flops, no makeup and a maxi dress I folded down into a skirt in a Nordstrom dressing room while a nice Spanish lady rigged me up in the worlds largest nursing bra. I bought two, one for me, one for the baby's bassinette.

- On the tail end of a cold now, last week I had severe coughing fits that led my to peeing my pants and vomiting all at the same time.

Looking back on my pregnancy, its funny how many little quirks I ignored that were definitely pregnancy induced. When people asked me if I was having cravings or noticed any other changes I always laughed it off and said no way not me. Now I realize that my epic 3 hour first trimester naps, and 24-hr desire for bagels, cream cheese, vanilla coke and whole milk was not just a day in a life. I mean, I once realized we only had skim milk left, so I added a dash of half-n-half to my glass out of desperation. Not the same btw, ugh.

Lately I've been getting the nesting questions, and I imagined myself turning into a whirling dervish Tasmanian devil hybrid scrubbing my floors at 3 am, which hasn't happened. But then, I look around and I am constantly laundrying, dishwashing, the nursery is together, the floors are clean  and as I am wrestling down the dog trying to make sure he is well manicured, and attempting to change lightbulbs on a creaky chair at 9 months pregnant, it suddenly dawns on me that "huh- maybe this IS nesting."

All that said, I am not miserable, but I am ready to meet my baby. Pink and fair or olive skinned? Boy or girl? Tiny or chunkster? Just a matter of days til we meet :)

Jared's been toting his Natural Childbirth: The Bradley Way book everywhere. Thinking of him trying to subtly read in the library while trying to shield from his neighbors the full page photo of a grimacing woman crowing is hilarious to me.