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| Via Natalie Dee |
My first spin class I lasted 30 minutes.
Exercising is hard for me. I have been
chubby for a long time and I am mostly ok with it, while always wanting to
change it, if that makes sense. I have very little determination, and an even
smaller amount of stamina.
That first spin class I was having a
hostage-level bargaining session internally. “Just 30 min and you can go, you
can walk out the door and never look back, and at least you tried.” That was my
mantra. As soon as I walked out, my heart sunk. I was so disappointed in
myself. Jared and I went to dinner that night and I blushed when I told him I
had wimped out. It was just so hard!!
The next day I went back and I finished.
Last night in spin class that Alicia
Keys song came on. You know the one. It was the last song of the session and my
thighs were burning and felt like lead weights. I found myself grinning like a
freaking maniac. Who was this girl? Was I really sitting here grinning while my
legs pumped, going nowhere fast? Was I actually getting pumped? From an Alicia
Keys song?! I threw away my usual cynicism and held on tight to that optimism.
Cherish that idiot grin, I told myself, because it may not be there tomorrow.
My goal for February goes against
everything that’s screaming inside of me, but so far I've done it and I could
not be more proud of myself.
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